WHAT’S THE EPISODE ABOUT…
Welcome back to You’re Not the Boss of Me, I’m your host Beth Holden Graves and this is episode number 33. This episode is called Just Press Play and I’m so grateful for all of you hanging with me for the last thirty-three weeks, 33 episodes.
With all that is happening in the world, I thought, “How can I serve, and if I don’t show up I might miss out on helping one person, or I might miss out on someone that’s waiting for the podcast to drop”, and that is a humbling feeling. So, thank you for listening today as I start with stress and how during being stressed and overwhelmed, we can all still show up.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED…
• No Boss Talk: https://nobosstalk.com
• Monday Morning Routine: https://www.bethholdengraves.com/routine
• The Camp Elevate Facebook Group: https://thecampelevategroup.com
• Beth’s Instagram: @bethholdengraves
• Beth’s website: https://www.bethholdengraves.com
• Profit HER Way Course: https://www.bethholdengraves.com/profit
• 10 Ways: https://www.bethholdengraves.com/10ways
KEYNOTES DISCUSSED:
• How does stress and overwhelm show up? And for us right now, it’s showing up in all kinds of weird ways. For me, sometimes it’s late night Netflix not being able to sleep, a few chocolate chip cookies, feeling like crap, staying up too late. And I started to think about all of the places…and I want to walk you through overwhelm, I want to read you one thing and I’m going to give you a solution. (03:54)
• I got very specific where I wanted the coaching program to be, where I wanted the network marketing business, to be very specific on what I wanted with my health with my sleep, where I wanted to spend this time while my daughter was at home and not being in my office locked in 17 hours a day, or getting up early in the morning because I had forgotten to do something. (7:24)
• Those are the rituals and routines that I know that needs to happen for me to be at my highest energy, at my best health and I write those things down. So I want to get on the Peloton, I wanna have my meditation time in the morning, and in the evening I want to read, I want to move, I want to journal, all of the things that you know you’re at your best. (11:13)
• I will do all of the things around the house and have that family time in the morning and then I might say, Okay from 10 until 2:30, I am going to have a work time because I’ve got two things scheduled in there, and then I put in that block what is happening for work. (16:01)
• Even if you’re somebody that’s full of energy and take supplements that makes you feel amazing and your body says every day, at 2 o’clock, I’m gonna get on that couch and I’m gonna watch some Oprah, then put it in your block and say, This is what I’m doing, but I feel really good. (24:46)
WHEN DOES IT AIR…
April 13, 2020
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
Beth:
Welcome to ‘You’re Not the Boss of Me’. If you are determined to break glass ceilings and build it your way, this show is for you. I’m your host Beth Graves, and I am obsessed with helping you to not just dream it, but make the plan, connect the dots and create what you crave. Are you ready? Let’s get started.
Welcome back to episode number 33, this episode is called Just Press Play. I think for the 3000th time, it is actually episode number 33, and I’m so grateful for all of you hanging with me for 30 weeks, 33 episodes, and I’m loving your reviews, I’m loving hearing from you on Instagram, seeing you in the stories. If you love this podcast, share away. I’m giving away some prizes this week. Not mailing the boss hats, but from Amazon, I have this awesome camp water bottle that it looks like graffiti, and so anyone that goes ahead and shares this and their stories or writes a review is going to be entered to win the water bottle.
So, with that, I want to read with you one of my favorite reviews this is from, I love the name Cra Cra Tiffany. And she said It’s so refreshing how raw and real she is… She truly is boss, to sum it up in one word. And I always, always go away from listening to her with at least an actionable step that I could implement into my business and something wise that I can learn. Thanks Beth. And she says bring back Danelle Delgado, another boss babe, and guess what? Danelle said she would record during the pandemic again, so we will do that. Tiffany shoot me a message and we are going to send you a really cool water bottle. I can’t wait for you to see it. And I also will be giving another one away for some one that leaves me a review this week.
You want a drawing, and I will also do a drawing if you share on Instagram.
So, let’s get started. And oh, my goodness, this has been a time, right? This is… That’s crazy scary. It’s every emotion in one day with what is happening in our world. If you’re listening to this live, we are basically at a stay at home lockdown with the quarantine, for the stay-at-home. And I hope you’re staying at home so we can flatten this curve. And I’m sitting, prayers and energy and love to all of you that are working out there, essential workers working out in the hospitals, having to work all of you that are helping us to stay safe, and take care of so many of our brothers and our sisters and our moms and our dads and our families that are being affected by this virus. And so, thank you, thank you, thank you so much gratitude and love and with that, getting this podcast recorded today, I felt like I was way back in the beginning because I thought I am going to come and I’m going to share some inspiring things and we’re going to just keep going.
And it felt so off and the content was off, and then I started to record and literally my computer died then I brought it back and I thought what a perfect example of just press play. So, I thought I am going to knock this out, I have something I want to say, and I always go back to “How can I serve, and if I don’t show up, I might miss out on helping one person or I might miss out on someone that’s waiting for the podcast to drop, and that is, that is a humbling feeling. So, thank you for listening today. And this episode is called Just Press Play.
And I start with stress. How does stress and overwhelm show up? And for us right now, it’s showing up in all kinds of weird ways. It’s for me, sometimes it’s late night watching Netflix, not being able to sleep, a few chocolate chip cookies, feeling like crap, staying up too late. And I started to think about all of the places…and I want to walk you through overwhelm, I want to read you one thing and I’m going to give you a solution, and then we’re going to be off of here.
And I went to tell you that we’re doing a lot of really cool things at Camp Elevate this week. We’re spreading joy and raising vibration and hope, and its share good news. You probably watched Some Good News, that share good news. It’s a really cool five days. Join us in there. And then we’re doing the Focus Framework which is what we’re going to talk about today is putting your day inside of a framework so that you have your priority, so that you’re not throwing towels in the washing machine empty in the dishwasher, answering a text, throwing spaghetti across the room so your kid can eat. We’re going to get rid of overwhelm, and stress in a way that will…Not get rid of it, we can’t get rid of it. We are going to control what we can control.
So, I want to read you from my book by Sarah Prout, which is Dear Universe, this was one of the meditations. “I now release energy of stress and replace it with self-compassion and trust that everything is taken care of in my life. I am now grounded in my heart space and reminded of the importance of self-care each and every day. So be it. So, it is.
So, I thought, what do I need so that I am not being reactive so that when I’m on the other side of this, and there will be another side. And I was challenged by my coach Susan Hyatt this week to write as if I was on the other side, and where I wanted to be in the priorities, the areas of my life. And I want you to think about those four sections of priorities, because we’re going to use those. So first of all, I want you to imagine four colorful pieces of construction paper on your desk in front of you, and I’m going to give you my four areas that I’ve used for this exercise. And the whole goal was… How do I put ease and flow into my day so I cannot drop the glass balls and I can have what I’m about to tell you in what she called the pre-cap where I will be on the other side.
So, I did a lot around health and mental health and physical health for my family members, and I have affirmations around that, but we’re talking about the concrete, what we want to do in our houses. So that’s the first thing, the responsibilities in the home, or farm if you have a farm, but the responsible in the home, the next piece of paper, let’s say it’s yellow, is family, the blue piece is business and the pink piece is me, all about me. That would be our self-care.
And then we have… So, we have home, we have business. You have yourself and then you have your family. Okay, so we’ve got those areas.
So, when I started to think about those four areas, I did the exercise. And I encourage you to do it where you want to be on the other side of this pandemic. Do you want to move your business forward? Make an impact… what I want to have shown up on the podcast. Do I want to have put together some awesome challenges, be offering a solution to people for businesses, or business coaching for people that are now, like I really need to build online. So, I got very specific where I wanted the coaching program to be, where I wanted the network marketing business, to be very specific on what I wanted with my health with my sleep, where I wanted to spend this time while my daughter was at home, and not being in my office locked in 17 hours a day, or getting up early in the morning because I had forgotten to do something and the other and… that was overwhelmed and not having the priorities in line. And so, I started to think about what were the projects that I wanted to do during this time, and I also wrote about what do I want to do and show up for my family? Things like being on a Zoom every day with my mom, planning family game nights, and then the home.
There are different things that I’m responsible for now that I’m home and not normally, I have someone, Elizabeth comes and helps me with the house, and that’s something that I had on my vision board, since the beginning. So, if you don’t have it on your vision board, but I’m doing all of that in my own now. And so I started to think of, I wanted to finish certain projects, the time that I wanted to have, where I wanted the business, and I wrote it all out and I thought, Okay, so if I continue to have this overwhelm, and I’m reactive, it’s not going to happen that way.
And I’m going to lose my freaking mind here. So, I went through, and I’ve done this activity before, I probably have talked about in a podcast, but this is different, so I’m just going to run you through the four different areas that are, on your desk are the areas that will become focused blocks on your calendar. And I like to have my calendar that I am, wherever my feet are. Almost like a block of time. When you were in high school or junior high when you walked into social studies, Miss Hoyt was a great teacher, you walked into social studies, social studies starts and you got out your books, beep, the bell rings, you leave, you go on to something else, you’re not still, maybe you are, but you went to, when it was time for lunch, it was time for lunch, when it was you had sections to your day and I started to feel like I need to know exactly what needs to get done in each section and be wherever my feet are and feel ease, and flow and grace and energy around each day.
I didn’t want to be missing the Peloton because I forgot to write down a Zoom, or because I needed to change the sheets upstairs and then stopped halfway through. You’re getting it right? So we’re going to clear all that clutter scout a yellow legal pad, a white legal pad write it down, no technology on this and you’ve got the four areas, put it on the yellow legal pad just like those four areas and start to list every single thing that needs to happen. Or whether it is a necessity whether it is a choice, but as you think about what you want to do in each area, so you’ve got to have an intention for each area where do you want your business to be? What does your family need from you, how do you want to show up for them? What about your house? I know that I want to walk on the other side of this and have a freaking organized, de-cluttered, house, and I also, I’m going to clean a lot of a base boards, I want to have time for that. So, we’ve got what happens in the house, what happens with family? And I want to look back and say I was supportive; I was able to… I want to make letters to people so that they get something in the mail. I want to be texting and talking and calling people that are important to me. But when it’s reactive, its half done. And what are the must do’s?
What do I need to do in a day, what do I need to do in my business in a day and go through those categories, and brain dump, brain dump, brain dump…the self-section is really important, because those are the things… Those are the rituals and routines that I know need to happen for me to be at my highest energy at my best health and I write those things down to… So I want to get on the Peloton, I want to have my meditation time in the morning and the evening, I want to read, I want to move, I want to journal, all of the things that you know you’re at your best.
Don’t give those up. And so then we’ve got it all dumped out and if it must happen, getting on the zoom at 11:30 on Monday with my Be Known team for marketing that has to happen, that’s schedule that’s not… I don’t get to choose.
So, then I take out my passion planner because I can see the whole week, and you can download the passion planner for free, you don’t have to buy the calendar. And also, if you search Etsy for passion planner, there’s all kinds of $1.95 printables. So, I’ve got in front of me the yellow legal pad, that I do every Sunday, dump it all. And when you have appointments and places to go, it works the same way. Dump it all on that pad, what has to happen? And then I look at it and I say right now, what are the things that are the priority? One of the things I can outsource, not a lot right now, even family right now, when I’m taking care of the house, grocery shopping is very different, so that has to be a block of time. I can’t just say, “Oh that are… Do it now because by the time the groceries, I can’t be on a Zoom because they’re left in the garage, I have to clean them all up. And what if we got ice cream, and that’s going to melt all over the place, then its stress, it’s overwhelmed you know you get the feeling.
So. then I take that yellow legal pad and I put everything into the blocks of what is going to happen for the week. And I make that decision. Is this happening, am I cleaning? This closet? What are the non-negotiables? What days do I want to have breakfast with the kids? When do I want to make pancakes? You can be spontaneous. But I used to tell people, “Oh I get things done, it’s my personality, I’m quirky, I’m creative, I’m spontaneous, that’s bullshit, that is me just being lazy and that creates overwhelm and… Oh, let me check this text, I’ll get right back to you, have some boundaries around what is your business time what is your family time, What is your self-care time?
And you will be better for yourself, for your people and you won’t feel overwhelmed if you’re constantly answering Facebook Messenger while you’re in the middle of breakfast, or you’re up late at night because you forgot to do something. That is me, in a nutshell, if I don’t have the discipline to do this. And so I’m the best person to teach this because of the fact that I am a person that has very blurred area, so I have to go back to the blocks and that’s what I’m doing this week, so then I go to the calendar, and you can… I love to make it bigger. I love to have the big passion planner I can’t do it now, because I can’t get to Office Depot, and then I block out the colors on based on when I have activities that have to happen. So if my color pink is for myself in the morning, from 5:30 until family block starts, I’m going to put the things I want to do that are important to me that need to get done, which is my Peloton, which is planning my meals for the day, which is the journaling, the meditation and during that block, I’m not looking at my phone, I’m not answering messages I am not checking emails, I am not doing laundry, I am doing those activities in the pink block and literally when the bell rings, is what comes next, what comes next, family time.
Now if you’re somebody that needs to check those messages in the morning, I actually block three to four times a day for answering text messages, emails, three-way chats, if I have validation Slack all of those notifications so that it’s not happening non-stop. So my brain has time to go from one thing to the next, so I might leave that morning block, and I might say, “Okay in 15 minutes right now that I’m going to go through all the notifications for the messages. The people that need me at that I leave the phone in my office, go downstairs to the family time and then that next block I look at… Okay, so here are the things I need to get to in the house on Monday for me to feel and flow for my family, for me to feel that we’re not living in chaos right? You don’t have to be a perfect housekeeper. But I know that I had on my list that I wanted to wipe down the outdoor porch furniture, that I wanted to clean up the kitchen after breakfast, Donny needed to start home-schooling, so we put in the family time breakfast.
He starts home schooling, or virtual schooling, and then going into that home block because what was happening is… So I looked at when is the laundry, when am I doing the things that need to get done and I make a block, and I don’t check my phone, and I don’t go back to work and do one quick thing, I literally get that piece and so for my Monday block, because I start at 11:30 with my Be Known meeting.
I will do all of the things around the house and have that family time in the morning and then I might say, Okay from 10 until 2:30, I am going to have a work time because I’ve got two things scheduled in there and then I put in that block what is happening for work. So I have been able to look and say, content, what has to happen for content and now if I’m posting content in the morning at 8, it happens during that little break so everything’s on the calendar everything’s on the calendar. I’m not like, “Oh gosh, I got a post over and Camp Elevate. Now, you got to go over here. Those things are scheduled during a big content block and that’s part of what goes in my business block is, I have to have content for my groups, for my team, for the podcast. So, when is the best time for me to be the most creative? So look in business block as soon as that’s over, and I’ve done my reach out, so my follow-ups my connections, my content, maybe I’ve worked on some course materials, maybe I’ve done a zoom to train some new people from my team, maybe some Boss one-on-one coaching, but as soon as that block is finished, the alarm is beep, and it’s a really peaceful thing. thing. And I’m like, Okay, what’s next?
So, it’s family time, so I have a family block booked in there right after work, and I do, like I don’t go, oh no, I have to go to family. If I feel like going outside for a walk, whatever, I do that. But during the family time, what are the things that I need to have happened? That means I need to face time with my mom, I need to check in on my sister, I will take a bike ride, all the things, during family time happen that I want to have happen. I’ve put on my big priority list, and if something comes up… Oh, let’s go outside and play Padma. Of course, you can do that I’m not saying you have to stick to it. But mostly for the times…when I was finding myself literally unloading the dishwasher looking at my phone, trying to talk to a kid, realizing that laundry was all over the place, and I thought I got to figure out what has to happen and when, and have a block of time, because I also want to get in a couple of the projects that sound fun. I want to be able to redo an area of my office, I want to be able to go through my entire closet, I want to write a chapter each week in my book that’s coming out, but if I keep being reactive and I don’t put that into a block also, I might have another small block work time, pretty careful about only having two different Zoom times a week that I’m doing, something in the evening, many times one unless I write down. Most people do things during the day, so I might go back up and have a small block of work time I will also make sure that I put in there, check messages follow-up, because once I’ve checked those messages I am not going back unless there’s no 911 in your business.
So knowing that, I might have some people to answer around 8 o’clock, go back to my office, get things ready for the next day, make sure I put all of my blocks and what’s happening for family, what’s happening for me and I’ve got even… So, tomorrow I have a grocery delivery that is during the house time, so we’ve got family house business, the me and family house business meet. Now, during me time is the spirituality is the devotions, are the meditations, you to really focus and carry that yellow legal pad, think legal pad, whatever color it is. Remember that lavender colored notebook paper and Bonnie Bell lip smackers. Did you guys have that in high school?
I think I had it junior high. I got to look for three ring notebook paper that’s colorful.
Oh, that’s going to be awesome. So anyway, every single time something comes up that’s like, “Oh I wish I could do that. I wish that was done. Oh, that’s an idea, I just write it down, I flip to that page.
So, the house has one, so if I see my windows right now have a bunch of pollen in them and I want to clean them off, I’m going to write that on the house page, so when I go look at the calendar, the schedule, I’m like, “Okay I can do this is what I’m doing during my work block and I’m going to have a big content block on a Saturday afternoon, when everybody is after we do something fun, as a family in the morning, Saturday afternoon is when I love to create content, and I know what I know I need to play some great music, I need to be in really high vibration, so all of the things are going to happen and I’m not going to carry over during the work block. And we’re going to do this, so start April 20th over in Camp, so I want you there. We are going to take a look at what happens doing your business block, we’re going to take a look at the flow and the focus for your business. So for example, coming up this week, I’m doing tomorrow, 10 o’clock, I’m doing a Zoom with another leader from another company and we’re talking about the online business opportunity and technology and so that’s on my calendar that’s something that’s going to happen. I’m not going to plan a content block during that time, does that make sense?
So that’s some of that by saying, overwhelm happens because we’re reactive, and what we can control right now, is where we want to be on the other side of the pandemic. Where do you want to be? And I want you to write that out as if it’s happened, and have those affirmations around health and mental wellness and your physical health, and your business and your family… do you want to remember this as a time of connection, or you want to remember this is a time of disconnection and chaos? Also, the who can you help, who can you serve, who needs you, right? So, you can remember to show up. I’m thinking right now that my friend, Jesse, sent me a text yesterday and I missed it because I didn’t have a specific time that I was checking and answering and paying attention to those things.
So, once you have that master list, and you’re like, “Oh gosh, I want to clean the windows. Oh my gosh, I want to start a podcast. Oh, I want to be on a Zoom where I’m learning X, Y, and Z. so, you’re not reactive to every single Facebook live every single zoom every single thing that goes on.
So, you take that master list, you put it into your blocks. My four blocks are family, my house myself. That includes all of the physical, spiritual, eating, self-care, all of the Beth stuff and my business. And I have to… I actually divide it… because there’s two businesses that I’m running side by side and brain dumping everything and then saying, “Okay what are the things that I need to do in my business so the wheels stay on, so that I can… And then the big thing is, I know where I want to be on the other side, so I know what the priorities need to be every single day. And I also know that when the bell rings, it’s over. If I did not finish the chapter of the book, the bell rings, and it’s over, I don’t get to carry over to the other block. Now, of course, if the family is busy and you’re like, “I really want to go back and do that. You can be flexible, but it’s meaning, if I have a big block for the house in the morning and I’m able to put in the laundry put it away clean vacuum things, and this is so unlike me, because normally, I’m not that person to do it, but that has to happen and it needs to go on or we all feel chaotic.
So, is this making sense to you? Send me a message and say this makes sense, this is what I’m doing. I want you to move forward with ease and grace, and flow. I want you to give yourself permission, if you know that, I need a nap. Even if you’re somebody that’s full of energy and take supplements that makes you feel amazing and your body says every day at 2 o’clock, I’m going to get on that couch and I’m going to watch some Oprah, then put it in your block and say, this is what I’m doing, but I feel really good. And at the end I have not had a chance to watch some of the best Netflix things, so I’m going to put that in, because I have ease and flow to where I’m going, I’m not going to overwork, I know where I’m going to be with my business on the back side, I’ve already decided, and because I’m so focused and I’m not reactive, I am making lots of connections I am creating the content, all of those things.
And then how does it feel when I’ve accomplished a lot of the other things, like physically that I am in great shape because I’ve been on that Peloton every day, and I fuel my body the way it was going, I was going to hop in the Peloton and then literally, I was like, “Oh gosh, I forgot I got to get on a Zoom, and then I was running to get food and the ice cream melted in the garage, and I went on a walk and I was just like Waaaaa…well, my husband’s like… “You’re going to start doing some of your woo things, whatever that is, you’re got to go back to it. So, I invite you to join me, to take what we can control and understand that there’s so much that we can’t, and work around the thought downloads, work with someone if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
This past weekend Camp Elevate, Lynn Holland, who is a dear friend, and she’s also a therapist, she talked about grief and she gave the offer if somebody is feeling that they need someone right now, let me know. And there’s a lot of online support. I wanted to point that out as well because it’s…
I know, I get that. Getting rid of overwhelm, and stress and the feelings and the grief and the fear that we’re feeling right now is not going to be resolved by Beth’s pretty blocking system like we’re in seventh grade with lavender notebook paper, I get it. But it makes me feel good and I thought it would make you feel good and it makes me have ease and flow and less anxiety and stress. When I think about how many more people I can impact and how many people will get the best of me, my family, my mom, my sister, if I actually decided this is what I’m doing right now, because last week I was on a Zoom with my mom and we were talking and chatting and then I decided, I forgot that I had to do something else I got very distracted and I thought I don’t want to be half in and half out of anything in life, you’re either all in, or you’re all out. And even now, we were all in the house, so even now I get to be all in for the things that I’ve been waiting to do so, that’s what I have for you this week and I’m so grateful that you, that you showed up, that you’re listening, I hope that this was helpful to you in some way, shape or form.
If you have questions around it, we’re going to be talking about this April 20th at Camp Elevate, the Focus Framework, bringing the blocking to the next level with your business and talking about how a content block works to bring new leads, new people, new energy in your business, and what are the things that happen in your business, block, so that you just don’t feel like you’re sending random messages or posting random things or not knowing what actually makes you money, in your business. We’re going to talk about that in Camp all for free. It’s five days, April 20th, get on in there, thecampelevategroup.com.
And with that, I want to just say thank you again for being with me today.
If there is someone that is wanting to be featured on this podcast, meaning you have a story of success, you have a story that you know will impact the world of You’re not the Boss, the people that listen to this podcast, let me know because I would love to invite you to have a spot on our Stories of Success Series. So let me know if you’ve overcome something that you think is inspiring, maybe you have a strategy that has worked for you on social media you’ve had massive Instagram, growth, and you’re like, I need to share this on the podcast, let me know, reach out to me, we’ll get you on the schedule if it’s a great fit for our listeners. So, with that, thank you so much for being with us today, and I want to invite you personally April 20th to be with us for the Focus Framework. We are going to break down your business and give you the blueprint of exactly what I did as I was moving through my network marketing business, and my coaching business, and it’s helped me to build two very successful businesses. So, I’d love to have you in there. We’re going to have so much fun this week leading up to it.
It’s a surprise. So, get on in there, it’s called thecampelevategroup.com. Get on over to Camp, we’ve got the link below and I will see you in Camp and I’ll catch you next week on episode number 34.
Thanks so much for hanging out with me today on ‘You’re Not the Boss of Me’. I’m hoping that you’ve found one thing that you will do today that will allow you to move forward to that big, audacious goal. And I have a favor to ask of you, and that is leaving me a five-star review over in iTunes every single week. I read your reviews. I love hearing what you have to say, and it allows me to bring you more, to get more people to interview that are doing the thing, breaking the glass ceilings, creating what they crave, and helping you with your game plan. So, leave me a five-star review, and when you do, I will enter you to win the ‘You’re Not the Boss of Me’ swag. So, make sure you leave it and we’ll reach out to you if you’re the winner. Thanks so much for hanging with me today and we’ll chat with you soon.